ACCIDENTAL INSPIRATION - a tribute to my mother

My mom went to live with Jesus 17 and a half years ago.  August 31^st would have been her 100^th birthday.  There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss her.  My mom was one of a kind.  I miss her daily presence in my life.  She was silly and fun.  She was smart and wasn’t afraid to try something new.  She was witty and wise.  And she was unflappable.  I don’t think that I ever saw her lose her cool and I witnessed scads of opportunities.  I never heard an unkind word fall off her tongue.  Not that she was all sugar and honey but if she said something negative, it was true and stated only as an observation, not a judgement.  She was a joiner and never met a stranger.  She had a great tribe of girlfriends.  She lived her best life.  And I wish I were more like her.

Recently, an old school friend reached out to me on social media. She asked if I remembered going to see a movie when we were kids.  I did not.   She went on to tell me that she remembered it so well, mostly because of how kind my mother was to her.  As the only child left at home for most of my growing years, I was usually allowed to invite a friend to go along anywhere we went.  This particular friend was part of a large family and her mother and younger sister suffered with health issues.   There were not a lot of special outings in her family.  She was a few years ahead of me in school, but we connected as children and were very close for my elementary and middle school years. 

She went on to say that my mother inspired her.  That it was because of my mom that she realized that her life could be more than what her family expected of her.  She said that my mom was strong and fair and that she looked up to her and thought that she wanted to be like her.  She shared that there were many people who helped to shape her life but that my mom was the female that really made her feel that she could be strong.  My mother, totally unaware, inspired this young girl to believe that she could do more and be more than what she had been led to believe of herself. 

Now, truth be told, my mother was not all that happy with our friendship.  She had heard that the girl’s older sister had a bit of a reputation and my mother feared that she would not be a good influence on me.   To her credit, the only time that I ever got in trouble with the law - now, don’t judge - I was with this girl. Even so, my mom placed the responsibility of my actions solely on me.  Side note: I was also with the boy who would later become my husband but that’s a story for another day.  My mother was not the type who would choose our friends.  She let us make our own choices and prayed quietly that those choices would turn out to be good ones. 

This got me thinking.  I am one hundred percent certain that my mother had no idea of the impact that she made on this young girl.  I know that I didn’t have a clue.  I took my mother’s kindness, matter of fact approach to everything and graciousness for granted. How differently it could have gone if she had shown that she didn’t approve of our friendship and how that rejection might have affected my friend. 

I wondered what, if any, impression have I made on the young girls who have come through the door of my home over the years as friends of my daughters.   As grown women, are they remembering my kindness as something that they needed in their lives?  Perhaps, one day when I’m gone, will one of my daughters get a message from an old friend saying that I made a positive impact on her life?   I can only pray that any difference that I made was for the better and that I kept any judgement to myself.  

We need to be constantly aware that how we walk out our faith is observed by many more than we realize.  Saying the right thing isn’t enough.  We must live out that faith in our comings and goings. Romans 12:1 says, So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life-your sleeping, eating going to work, and walking around life- and place it before God as an offering.  God calls us to love one another as He loves us.  Have we been shining examples of God’s love?  Romans 15:2 instructs us, Each of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, “how can I help?”  It is a sobering disappointment to know that I haven’t always been on my game.  Am I now?  Certainly not every day.  But God is gently nudging me to be more intentional about mentoring young women.  So many need a positive influence in their lives that they do not or did not have at home.  Others have had wonderful influences in their lives but can still benefit from a little wisdom that is outside of the box from  their family norm.  My own girls seemed to hear the exact same words that I said so much more clearly when they were said with the cadence of another woman’s voice.   God uses all of us.  We need to stay alert to the fact that he might be using us even when we don’t know it.

Whether you landed on this page by accident, were sent here by a friend or I begged you to visit this site myself, I pray that you might feel that stirring in your soul, a little nod from Jesus.  “Yes, you.”  You have God-given gifts to share with other sisters and make no mistake about it, God is calling you to use those gifts to further His kingdom.  Take a few minutes to pray about it.  You might be surprised by the direction in which way God is pointing you.  If God can use my mother while she was completely unaware, to significantly impact a young girl’s life, imagine what He can do if we are intentional in our representation of Jesus to all His children.